I’m not a techie. I can get my email, dabble in social media and post a blog on my website every week because someone taught me how. My phone is smarter than me and I just figured out how to use a hotspot with my laptop. But I am a health nerd. I love learning […]
Tom stood looking in the bathroom mirror, “draw a smiley face on it” he said. Always seeing with an artistic eye, he was referring to the white gauze bandage at the base of his throat that he wanted us to draw on. He thought it would be funny to have a smiley face peeking out […]
Hearing Tom be diagnosed with lung cancer was more devastating to me than my own breast cancer diagnosis last year. I can see myself as broken, but not him, he’s invincible. He’s strong, smart, kind, funny and caring. He’s my hero. It felt like I had been punched in the stomach. He handled it with […]
I had a moment of embarrassment as I drove my dirty pickup truck down the street into the historic neighborhood. A recent light rain had left muddy splatter marks all over the truck. I made a mental note to look for a carwash on the way home. The house number above the door confirmed that […]
My hand shook as I reached for the elevator button. This building holds too many unpleasant memories, the surgery center, radiation and oncology are all in this building. Today I’m here for my first follow up mammogram since my breast cancer treatment. Stepping off the elevator I felt my stomach flutter with a moment of […]
My soul was crying out for some tree time. No offense to the desert Mesquite and Palo Verde but I wanted big trees. Trees you can wrap your arms around and hug. Trees that sprinkle the ground with dried leaves that crinkle when you walk on them. The nudging had started gently, recalling a memory […]
Just seeing the sign for oncology makes my stomach hurt, walking through the door of the oncologist’s office makes it hard to breathe. I keep telling myself that it is a simple visit to change my medication and there is nothing to worry about. I had nothing to worry about when I went for my […]
Something’s off. I don’t feel right. I’m exhausted all the time. My hips hurt so bad I can’t lie on my side at all. I get waves of nausea that make me hover around the bathroom to see if I’m going to puke. My hot flashes are worse than ever and my left hand sometimes […]
At my last oncologist visit he told me I needed a bone density scan and that his office would set it up and call me with an appointment. After 10 days and me calling their office 3 times I finally got it set up. I felt my heart drop when the woman on the phone […]
It is autumn. All my life I have been attuned to the changing seasons. Living in the desert you have to look harder to see the change in seasons but I can feel it. This year I am especially tuned in to the coming of autumn because the summer sucked. My entire summer was consumed […]
It was my last doctor’s appointment, the oncologist. I had already met with him before my surgeries so I knew what he was going to recommend. What I didn’t know was how that appointment would test me. I was 21 days past my 3rd surgery and I felt physically better than I had in a […]
I was disappointed with myself. I had not expected to lose my nerve when I saw the radiation doctor. I really wanted to be a strong, empowered woman that knows her own destiny. I’m doing the best I can. The further I got away from that doctor’s office the stronger I became. I regained control of […]